We know how most resolutions go. We go
into the new year with grand ideas. Life this year will be different.
Things are going to change. And all we need to do is make a
resolution and the ball will start rolling.
Then about a week to ten days later,
we're back to the way things were before.
What happened?
There are three good reasons why
resolutions fail.
The first reason resolutions fail is
that we don't enter them seriously. What I mean is when we decide to
quit that bad habit, like smoking, we take a “try it and see”
approach. We think to ourselves, “What do I have to lose?”
Then the wall comes. We hit it hard.
Since we've done no more than express a preference and called it a
resolution, we retreat to familiar territory.
The second reason resolutions fail is
that we haven't counted the cost of making it happen. This is clearly
illustrated when we “hit the wall”. The wall represents our
resistance to change. It is the crossroads where you have to decide,
“Is this a wish or am I genuinely serious about changing?”
Among the costs of change is the
temptation to give up, retreat, and go back. Well-meaning friends
will express their discomfort with the change you want to make. The
familiarity of the past will beckon you to give up. Counting the cost
means that beforehand you've decided how you'll face setbacks.
Another cost to be counted is how
painful making a big change can be. If you've depended on something
you've now chosen to go without, how will you cope with the emptiness
that void will create? What will you fill it with when it inevitably
comes?
The third reason resolutions fail is we
forget the biggest battle is with ourselves. Nobody else will have as
much influence on your resolve as you will. Will you be your own
cheerleader or your own saboteur? You alone make that choice.
If you want to succeed at carrying
resolutions through to the end, remember these roadblocks. If you
think your desires through, commit well, and plan for the inevitable
struggles, you'll succeed in making a better you.
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